Falling Asleep

Posted by Manu Mattos on 19.3.09 in
Caught your eye again
And I'm trapped inside
Caught your smile again
And I'm torn inside
You always seemed so far away
So delicate and pure
Yet truth, it seems,
Conveys a different story
So close, so far away
At a distance
Your eyes told me the same thing
As always Here, now, in my arms
Your eyes, so strange
They tell me something gray
How can I be so far away
From something so close to me
How can you be so far away
From me?
This distance Keeps it pure
Oh, how I want you I want the you that you don't want
To give up
I want you close
To gaze into your strange eyes
To taste your rain
To sleep in your darkness
To hear your grayness
I'm ready to be hurt again
By you
If only the black night
Could fold its arms around us
If only the dark
Could sink us in hopelessness
Could drown us in desperation
Could smother us in dissolution
Could cover us in passion
And dream
And dream
Of a thousand different way
To hold the truth
Against us
Could silence this quiet
This quiet, silent pain
Then maybe
We could smile
That one
Certain smile

by J.C. Haynes


i completely understand each word of it.
in fact, it could not be written only for you...
...but for me, too.

the difference, that is so faint in our mother language, seems to be an abyss in this language i'm writing...
...and i just don't know what i must expect of it: if the faint line between "esperar" and "esperar", or the deeply chasm between "waiting" and "hoping".

for now my only conviction is: "hoping... living".

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